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As a somebody who is waiting till marriage, you’ve got a lot of pressure on you to find “the one”, so you’re going to have a tendency to try to push every relationship that way.

That’s when issues like those mentioned above are going to come into play.

Keep that attitude and they’ll be able to help you through it and probably ease a lot of your concerns. You keep picturing your girlfriend/boyfriend having sex with some other person — doing all of the things you’ve waited to do for so long with somebody else, as if it’s nothing — and it’s like knives through your heart. But so much for that, because now they’re gone, and you’re faced with the prospect of dating somebody who was nowhere near as good as them and has a sexual history that is five times as bad. To some people who are waiting till marriage, the virginity-factor can be all-consuming when picking a boyfriend/girlfriend.

Jealousy, hurt, anger, wounded pride, injustice…all of those feelings are going to tear at you. Especially in the early stages of waiting till marriage, finding another virgin can be so important to you that once you compromise on it (i.e., by dating somebody who’s a non-virgin), it can become all you can see.

Unless you’re taking Barlow Girl’s stance on waiting till marriage (no dating until marriage), you’re probably going to date several people for various periods of time before you get married.

Depending on how picky you are, some of those people you date may not be waiting till marriage like you are. Here are 5 tips on getting the most out of a relationship with somebody who’s had sex before.

Ultimately, you may be happiest with somebody who has a sexual history that is at least on the conservative side. There is such a thing as other factors out-weighing the sexual history factor (like the fact that they’re crazy about you and complete you in every other way…that does happen).

You can throw everything else on this list away if you don’t marry the person. The sole purpose of pre-marriage relationships are personal growth and companionship. Don’t blow what may end up just being some good fun by trying to take it too seriously too fast.

Their sudden righteous anger will turn your virginity into something that you’re holding over their head; they’ll stop valuing it and respecting you for it as much.You don’t see the person as a whole…you see the perfect wedding night/pure marriage you’ll never be able to have if you stay with them. How they treat you, who they are, and how much you enjoy them should be hugely important factors. Some of those other qualities can be even more rare than virginity. But given that the rest of the world is full of one night stands, casual sex, and “hook up culture”, maybe the fact that your girlfriend/boyfriend has only had sex with one other person in the context of a long term relationship (or whatever) isn’t so bad.. Appreciate that in the grand scheme of things, your girlfriend/boyfriend may be much closer to your sincere, genuine idea of sexuality than he/she is to those “other” people’s warped and soulless view of sex.Maybe they had sex before with one person but only a couple of times.Mike is web software developer by day, and is in school to become a psychologist.In his free time Mike enjoys running, biking, and movies.

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