Common dating now
Until you think about putting yourself (or your daughter) into someone else’s “incubator” for a few months, or years, while he or she tries out their “sexual feelings” and “moral limits.” We put too much of ourselves at risk in dating to donate our hearts to someone’s romantic experiment.The truth is we have given dating far too much credit, and far too much power in our pursuit of marriage.But we don’t prepare ourselves for true, lifelong romance by experimenting with lesser, short-term romance.We prepare ourselves for deeper, fuller, longer-lasting romance by becoming more like Christ.
I am to date in order to get married, at least in the West. I’m just not convinced dating is necessarily preparing us — heart, habits, character — for marriage.
If we are honest with ourselves, we will admit that the liberties many of us take in dating are more likely to harm our future marriage (and our significant other’s future marriage) than they are to prepare us for marriage.
We cultivate the “mini-marriages” that subtly undermine any real marriage God might eventually give us.
Unfortunately, many of us are being told we must date early and often if we ever want to be ready for marriage.
For instance, one popular Christian dating book reads, “Dating is an incubator time of discovering the opposite sex, one’s own sexual feelings, moral limits, one’s need for relationship skills, and one’s tastes for people.” Sounds practical and reasonable on the surface.