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Our hero is an 'old soul', longing for happiness after a turbulent past, hunting for a woman to love him for who he is: a man who loves the outdoors and yearns to start a family - who also, thanks to family money, just happens to be rich as Croesus.
Kailen, the woman with our future in her hands, is a boho beauty with glinting green eyes and, she says, an ability to sniff out a gold-digger at a hundred paces. Learning that Kailen is about to interview her first shortlist of 60 applicants - drawn from a longlist of 600 - I elbow my way to the head of the queue. The description of the millionaire on Kailen's site says he is: 'A mid-30s, gentle spirited man from one of the world's most prominent aristocratic families, sophisticated and well-mannered with a passion for adventure.'It continues: 'He enjoys everything from snowboarding in Japan to free diving in the ocean, deep-sea fishing to ranching in the mountains.
Still more curiously, the individual I am being sized up by is a woman - not just any woman, but the world's leading matchmaker.'Love architect' Kailen Rosenberg has played Cupid to countless people looking for love during her 22 years in the business.
The 48-year-old life coach and former model is media mogul Oprah Winfrey's favourite relationship expert and the go-to girl for every A-list couple in a crisis (although maddeningly she's tightlipped about who).
I look forward to sharing Britain's National Portrait Gallery, Naples and ancient Troy with my beloved.
On, then, to my first, fateful matchmaker encounter, conducted via Skype.
The store's owner says the baby's name is Toby and he's doing just fine!
I have enjoyed my single adventures, but am ready to fall in love for life.Her clients are 70 per cent female: 'Women are more emotional, gutsy and willing to take a risk to find their guy.'By now, I am gagging to know who our hero is. Nor is he 'the family idiot', or of tiny proportions. I wish I could share names, given a few things that are going on right now! I work with the ones who come in humility and say: !It looks as if I can have anyone I want, but I need real love."Why is she bringing her hunt to Britain?She is also, as she makes clear, 'impossible to con', despite my bringing her a British bribe - a jar of Marmite.I decide to get the upper hand by interviewing her. 'I became a life coach in the early Nineties,' she tells me, 'back when we called it "image consulting".